Qualities That Moms Should Look for in a Lawyer

Image

    when looking for a custody and visitation attorney.

    • 1. Experience Having adequate experience is very important because I think that the wiser we get as a lawyer, the more refined our thinking becomes. Finding a lawyer with experience with the court, who knows how each judge makes their rulings, and knows the system can be incredibly helpful to a party’s case. With experience we lawyers become more careful in filing, for example, too many requests for orders and we're less eager, maybe, to do things that we know might not go well. When comparing myself to how I was when I was starting out, I listened to the client, but I would go for it, and then later find out something that the judge might not like. Now I'm more refined about what to file, especially when it involves children.
    • 2. Approach Are you looking for an aggressive lawyer or are you looking for a collaborative attorney? I think for each approach there's two different things to think about. An aggressive lawyer in a custody case can potentially result in permanent damage with your spouse and with the court. Being aggressive is not always the best approach when children are involved. Sometimes you have no choice because the other side is so unreasonable and there is no other way. I understand, that's a different situation. When looking generally in a normal situation where there is not much animosity, I suggest doing a private mediation, and avoid court at all times, if possible, when children are involved. Of course, this may not be possible depending on the other side’s actions, but I found that the client’s relationship to the other parent affects the child. Most importantly, it affects the well-being of a child. When parents are going through a divorce, it's already stressful, but when they're involved in a custody battle, it affects the child's well-being because it's hard to hide nervousness and animosity. It's just better to do mediation if possible. If I were in the shoes of someone who would is looking for an attorney, I would look for someone who is firm and strong but more minded towards mediation.
    • 3. Connection and Knowledge Ask, do I connect with this lawyer? Does this lawyer get me? Sometimes you feel that the lawyer is knowledgeable and effective but there is no connection the lawyer is distracted, not 100% present, or has different values. I personally interviewed a lawyer when I was going through a divorce, and the first thing that lawyer told me was, "Oh, you got so many gifts. I don't give my wife so many gifts." Well, guess what? I didn't hire this lawyer because he already judged me about the gifts I received, and I didn't feel comfortable. The other lawyer I hired said, "Well, you know what? You don't need to appear while you are in America. I will appear for you in Germany," and he knew much more.
    • 4. Communication. Ask, can this lawyer listen to you? Is this lawyer pausing, hearing exactly, not just listening, but hearing what you're saying? Does the lawyer resonate? Does the lawyer respond to your emails in time? Do you have to call this lawyer five times to receive a call back? Those are very, very important questions. I personally would not be able to work with a lawyer if I had to wait for an email for three days because that is just not acceptable. I understand some lawyers are going through a trial experience and they have an automatic reply email that pops up and says, “I'm in trial,” that's understandable. However, on a regular basis, waiting for an email for three days or a phone call back from your lawyer is not okay.

    Share this Post