It can be an arduous road leading up to the decision to divorce, but once you have decided, you will need to come up with a detailed plan to help you move on with your life. Unfortunately, divorce cases are not always the quickest or smoothest things to go through. Mediation can take some time, especially if both parties are not willing to work together or come to an agreement. That is when mediation can help both parties agree.
The main goal of mediation is to reach an agreement that works for both spouses without wasting a significant amount of time and stress in court.
Divorce mediation was introduced to help find solutions to issues, such as spousal support, child support, and child custody. It is supposed to act as an alternative to the formal process of litigation in divorce court.
Depending on the state you live in, Mediation may be something you have to accept, or it can be an optional choice. Regardless of the reasons, we will be going over in detail how divorce mediators work.
That way, you can have an understanding of their purpose and see if getting one involved is the best option for you.
What Is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation is a settlement process that is regularly used by married couples who have decided to divorce and by domestic partners who want to permanently separate.
Divorce mediation offers both parties the option to plan their futures rationally in a closed environment filled with cooperation and mutual respect. With the help of a trained divorce mediator, the couple can reach an agreement that is tailor-made for the family, finances, and future.
When dealing with a mediator, you should keep in mind that they are an objective party. It is not their job to resolve issues or force either party into an agreement. The mediator will instead assist both parties with agreeing by acting as an intermediary. They may offer an opinion or make suggestions, but at no particular time are they allowed to force an agreement upon either party.
The mediator can be either a divorce lawyer or someone who is not a licensed attorney at all. That means resolving the problems in their divorce and conducting the following tasks:
If you are going through a divorce, you should consider mediation since it's a proven method that has worked for almost all couples. Here are several benefits you should be aware of:
Most mediations go through several steps to achieve an agreement from both parties. Some of these steps may even be recurring at various points of the mediation process. Your mediation may differ from someone else's, here is what you can expect when going through divorce mediation.
The first meeting
During the first meeting, the mediator shall work with both you and your spouse to lay down the foundation for the rest of the mediation. Both parties will give the mediator background information about the situation, and the mediator will explain how the mediation will happen.
Depending on how well the communication process between the two parties and what issues are in the case, the mediator may suggest an approach that should optimize the chances of reaching an agreement.
You will assess the issues on which both you and your spouse agree or disagree, assisting you with working together on the agenda throughout the rest of the mediation.
Gathering information
To ensure the mediation process goes smoothly, both spouses and the mediator will need to be informed about the facts on the case. This moment is known as the information-gathering period. At times, this part of the process will begin during the first meeting, sometimes it can start after that meeting. If the information that you or the mediator need is unavailable or in dispute, the mediator can assist with acquiring it or find out the facts.
For instance, you may need the policy number and other details for a life insurance policy. If the copy of the policy you previously had is lost, the mediator could suggest ways to acquire this information, such as contacting the broker who initially sold you the policy or emailing the insurance company.
At this point, the mediator shall first start the discussion with general legal rules that could apply to your case. It could include the laws of your state decreeing how a judge will divide assets and debts. Another issue is how child custody and child support would be decided.
How and when alimony will be allowed to be ordered by the court. And lastly, laws related to issues that involve taxes, health insurance, and life insurance. The legal information provided by your mediator should assist with deciding how to deal with these issues during your sessions.
The mediator may also ask both you and your spouse to hand over financial information such as tax returns, bank statements, and mortgage statements.
As the meetings progress, the mediator shall summarize the collected information. If you agree that additional information is required or a neutral professional is to be consulted, that will go on the to-do list.
The information-gathering part of the mediation process can span between two or more sessions, especially if you need to do outside legwork to gather additional information or appraisals.
If you believe that you already understand the situation you are in and have definite ideas on how to hash out the settlement, you could find yourself impatient with this part of the process and anxious to move ahead with negotiations.
Even if you wish to rush this part of the mediation process, the mediator's job is to ensure that both you and your spouse have all the necessary information and facts you need to negotiate a legally binding agreement and make both parties unregretful of having signed it.
The Framing
During this part of the mediation process, the mediator will assist both spouses with outlining the reason for wanting specific outcomes in the settlement. The motivation consists of personal concerns, priorities, values, and goals. This part is usually referred to by mediators as needs and interests.
For this part, we will use the broad term of interests. Identifying interest that assists in framing the primary goal of mediation. Finding a resolution of the problem that success meets both parties' most vital interests.
In most cases, plenty of issues need examination in light of each couple's interest. These include alimony, child custody, child support, debt division, and property.
Sometimes a spouse's interest will overlap. It can potentially happen if the interest involves the concern of other individuals, such as children.
When an overlap such as this does transpire, it elevates the chances of finding settlement options that address their concerns. However, it is not always the case to negotiate an agreement that satisfies both parties in all of their interests.
Some interests will require a compromise between both parties, especially during a divorce, where limited resources need to be divided between two individuals.
Although if the focus is on assessing and addressing each individual's most critical needs and interests, the resulting comprises ones that both parties agree.
At certain times, mediators will prefer to conduct the framing process in separate gatherings since they believe it is better to prepare both of you for negotiation.
Some mediators may favor joint sessions because they deem that both parties hearing each other out with the mediator to formulate interest leads to a better foundation for the give and take part of the negotiation.
Either method is effective, although separate sessions can lead to mediation costs to increase and take longer. Another problem is if anything vital said during a separate session will need to be repeated by the other party.
The negotiation
Now that the mediator has managed to help the couples frame the issues and interests clearly, it is time to begin negotiations and accept a settlement. That generally starts with an exploration of possible options. With the assistance of the mediator, the couple discusses and evaluates the options, until eventually, they narrow down the options to the ones that work best for both parties. Resolving both parties will involve compromises and concessions from both parties.
For this part, mediators will emphasize the problem-solving aspect of negotiation. The issue that needs to be solved is finding settlement options that address both parties' most vital interests as best as possible.
With this kept in mind, you will be capable of negotiating by trading away any acceptable options instead of being forced into zero-sum bargaining, where one spouse gains are the other one's loss.
The final step
At this final step, the preliminary settlement agreement is placed into writing and circulated to both parties for review with their lawyers. If the issues in your proceedings are simple, the mediator may prepare a memorandum outlining your settlement and offer you the opportunity to sign it before you leave the mediation session in which you concluded your negotiations.
The record can summarize the key points of agreement and then be used as a basis for preparing a formal settlement agreement that will be filed with the court as part of the uncontested divorce case.
Plenty of mediators, especially any of them who are lawyers, will prepare the written settlement agreement that is to be filed with the court. Although, you should always have your lawyer look over the draft agreement on your behalf before signing off on it.
Finding a Mediator
If you require a mediator, then asking your attorney for one should be viable. They typically have a listing of local mediators who are willing to step in. If possible, asking for recommendations from someone whose judgment you trust can get you one.
There are plenty of people you can ask from lawyers, therapists, financial advisors, and even spiritual advisors for referrals. If you have any friends or family members who have been through a divorce, chances are they will know a mediator that can assist you. If you cannot find a personal referral, then using the internet should help you discover local mediators.
Make sure to only work alongside a mediator who is experienced in divorce cases and preferably is an experienced family law attorney. Once you’ve managed to get some names, contact the mediators and ask any questions you need until you are confident that you can hire the person as your mediator.
Conclusion
Divorce cases can become a stressful period in anyone's life. Mediators can potentially ensure both sides go through a seamless transition during their divorce case. Having one will also make sure that the power to resolve this remains in both spouse's hands instead of going into court.
If you go to court, then there is a high chance the situation can end up unfavorably for both spouses. If you want to ensure both you and your spouse get an agreeable deal, then get yourself a mediator.
Share this Post